What are the signs that your child might be at risk online?

·    You find pornography on your child's computer.

·    Your child receives phone calls from adults you don't know or is making calls, sometimes long distance, to numbers you don't recognize.

·    Your child receives mail, gifts, or packages from someone you don't know.

·    Your child turns the computer monitor off or quickly changes the screen on the monitor when you come into the room.

·    Your child becomes withdrawn from the family.

·    Your child is using an online account belonging to someone else.

What should you do if you suspect your child is communicating with a sexual predator online?

·    Consider talking openly with your child about your suspicions.

·    Review what is on your child's computer. If you don't know how, ask a friend, co-worker, relative, or other knowledgeable person.

·    Call your Local Law Enforcement Agency.  DO NOT DELETE ANYTHING!

·    Telephone companies also offer a feature that rejects incoming calls that you block. Use this feature to prevent computer-sex offenders from calling your home.

·    Devices can be purchased that show telephone numbers that have been dialed from your home phone.

·    Monitor your child's access to all types of live electronic communications (i.e., chat rooms, instant messages, Internet Relay Chat, etc.), and monitor your child's e-mail.

What can you do to minimize the chances of an online exploiter victimizing your child?

1.   Communicate, and talk to your child about sexual victimization online danger.

2.  Spend time with your children online. Have them teach you about their favorite online destinations.

3.  Keep the computer in a common room in the house. It is much more difficult for a computer-sex offender to communicate with a child when the computer screen is visible to a parent or other members of the household.

4.  If the screen is suddenly minimized when you walk by, you have a right to know what was on that screen.

5.  Use parental controls provided by your service provider.

6.  Patrol the electronic chats. While chat rooms can be a great place for children to discuss various topics of interest, computer-sex offenders also prowl them.

7.  Always maintain access to your child's online account and randomly check his/her e-mail. Be aware that your child could be contacted through the mail as well as the cell phone.

8.  Teach your child the responsible use of the resources online.

9.  Find out what computer safeguards are utilized by your child's school, the public library, and at the homes of your child's friends.

10. Understand, even if your child was a willing participant in any form of sexual exploitation that he/she is not at fault and is the victim.

Additional Safeguards

·    Instruct your children to never arrange a face-to-face meeting with someone they meet online.

·    Instruct your children to never upload (post) pictures of themselves onto the Internet or online service to people they do not personally know.  

·    Instruct your children to never give out identifying information such as their name, home address, school name, or telephone number.

·    Instruct your children to never download pictures from an unknown source, as there is a chance there could be sexually explicit images.

·    Instruct your children to never respond to messages or bulletin board postings that are suggestive, obscene, belligerent, or harassing.

·    Instruct your children that whatever they are told online may or may not be true.

·    Children fill out online surveys providing too much information about themselves, family members and friends, speak to them about the dangers of surveys.  Predators gather information from surveys that can later be used to contact or find your child. 

·    Remind your child that nothing is 100% safe. Even if their website page is set to private. 

·    Never allow your child to have their own passwords and set various times for your child’s computer use.

Please please please, take this information and know it.  If you see the signs, don’t ignore them.  Do something about it.  Ask questions.  And Never ever blame your child.  It is not their fault.  Teens are curious by nature.  It is okay to be curious.  It is how they learn.  But, it is your job to protect them.  It is your job to give them the tools to be safe, and that means educating yourself about the traps you think your child will never fall into.  It is better to be safe than sorry.  I had a 13 year old tell me once, that “The computer is a privilege, and life is a privilege.  If you abuse one, you can lose the other.”  Please know what they are doing online.  It is better to be safe than sorry.  If you think your kid is in trouble, or a friend is in trouble, remember, it is better to say something and be wrong, than to say nothing and be right.

Another thing to let your child know is, if they are in trouble, and they are scared to come to you, that is okay.  Go to someone.  Go to a preacher, a teacher, a coach, or even their best friends parents.  Go to someone and ask for help.  Their voice is a very powerful weapon, and it is okay to use it.  Kids make mistakes.  It is part of growing and learning.  But give them the tools to make sure a stupid mistake does not cost them everything.  Don’t put your head in the sand, and have that mentality that little Johnny is a good kid, and won’t do that.  Know who your child is talking to online.  Go to your local Law Enforcement agency, and see if they have a CD called Computer Cop.  Many agencies distribute them free of charge to their residents.  If they don’t have it, request they get it.  Use it.  You will know what your child does online, and you will have a head start to intervene if you need to.