Oh what a topic to have to start with. I figure if I do not alienate you on this topic, you might just stick around. Sorry to say it, but kids today are spoiled rotten brats. And it is the parents that have made them that way. When there are nine year olds with IPhones, our children are spoiled brats. A nine year old cannot go out and buy one for themselves. Why does a child need a phone with Internet capability, texting, and a camera? Oh I forgot, everyone feels the pressure to keep up with the Joneses next door. If little Bobby Jones has an IPhone then my little Suzie has to have one too. Come on people. Get real. What happened to kids having to earn something in life?
You also have kids who are driving brand new BMW’s and Pickup trucks to school. These kids are 16. There are not very many kids who have a job where they can afford to have a BMW, and also insurance, gas and repairs. It is not going to happen. And as far as the IPhone goes, they are probably not paying for that either.
Kids are also not taught respect anymore. You can go to the store any day of the week, and you will hear a child tell mommy and daddy what they want, and not ask. No one says please and thank you anymore. No one says yes ma’am or yes sir anymore. It is the easiest thing to teach a child when they start to talk, yet no one does it. And then we wonder why we have 16 year olds who are shooting Law Enforcement officers, joining gangs, raping other kids, and involved in drugs. It is everyone else’s responsibility to raise your child but you.
You can sit in a parking lot when teenagers are around, and every sentence they speak has a curse word in it. How many parents would like to know their kids are dropping the F Bomb in public for others to make an opinion of not only that child but the family as a whole? These kids are making mom and dad look bad.
Don’t get me wrong. There are some great kids out there, but there are those whose actions ruin the reputation of a whole generation. And sadly, these kids are ruining the reputation of my children, and I cannot sit by and let that happen, without trying to speak up about it.
It boils down to the fact that if you do not teach your kids independence, respect and responsibility, they are going to think that everything has to be handed to them on a silver platter, and in society today, there are very few “trust fund babies” who do not have to worry about what the future will hold for them. When we as parents have passed on from this life, there will not be anyone here to pick up the pieces and protect our kids when they are 40, because they will not have learned how to stand on their own two feet. If they cannot stand on their own two feet as a young adult, it is going to be even more difficult for them, because mom and dad are not there to continue to hold their hand when they are older.
This is something that has to change, and it has to start now. If it does not, then I am afraid that the generations of the future are going to be lost, and there will be no one left to lead the way.
There are very few role models in sports, music, or even movies and television for someone to look up to. I can only think of a handful, and those are the ones that kids would not look up to. A teenager is not going to look to Sandra Bullock or Petra Nemcova as a role model. A teen ager is not going to look to Celine Dion or Mariska Hargitay as a role model. These kids would not look up to Donna Norris as a role model. All they have is the Justin Beiber’s and Jenelle Evans of the world. Justin is flipping off cameras and Jenelle is getting into videotaped fights and going to jail. Chris Brown is admired by teens. He is an abuser, yet he is loved. WHY? This is not the type of role models I want for my children.
If I live with half the dignity that Ms. Bullock has lived with I will consider my life a success. If I live with half the strength Ms. Nemcova has lived with, I will consider my life a success. If I live with half the perseverance and determination Ms. Dion has, I will consider my life a success. If I live my life with half the care and compassion Ms. Hargitay has, I will be a success. If I live my life with the strength and courage of Ms. Norris, then I will have left a legacy on this world that no one could destroy. The sad thing about Ms. Norris is, if you were to ask anyone under the age of 25 who she was, no one would know. Everyone should know her name.
We have kids who are out committing crimes you rarely ever saw 20 years ago. A 16 year old in St. Petersburg, Florida, is accused of shooting Officer David Crawford on February 21, 2011. Officer Crawford was killed in the line of duty. The young man’s mom and brother said he was a good boy. His Facebook page showed he was a gang member. So what do we believe? Do we believe a mothers word, or the photographs that prove the opposite?
You can think your child is a good kid, but knowing your child is a good kid is something completely different. If you do not come home and say, “How was your day?” “What is going on in your life?”, then how do you know? If you don’t spend quality time with your children, then how do you know those photos don’t exist that will completely destroy the perception you have of your child?
It also goes back to making kids sit down at a dinner table and have dinner as a family. I have asked many times, if families sit down and have dinner together, and it amazes me that the majority of the time, the answer is, “We are too busy for all of us to be together for dinner. It is usually grab something and go.” If you are too busy to take 30 minutes to spend with your family, then you need to slow down, take a step back and re – evaluate your priorities, because they are out of order. Sitting down for a meal together may not sound important, but it is one on of the most important necessities, to be able to mold a child into a good person. This is one step in a family unit that needs to be stressed, in order to keep a tight nit family.
I also hear parents say they are friends with their children. I am sorry, but there is no way you can be an effective parent if you are their friend. I have told my children, they can talk to me when they are 21, and I will be their best friend for the rest of my life if they want me to. But while they are growing up, I have to be their mother. I cannot be both. Amazingly, they get it. It is not that hard to explain it to them. I am your mother, I am your father. I cannot be your friend and still be your parent. Yes, it is that simple. They may be upset, but, when they are able to make it in the world on their own, they will understand why you did what you did. And in the end, that is the most important thing. They have been given the tools to survive. And that is the only goal of a parent.
There is another thing that is becoming more prevalent too, and that is parents who “hire” their children to work for them. They don’t have to show up to work. They don’t have to lift a finger to do anything. And they pull a paycheck that is bigger than the employees who are actually making all of the money for the company. That is teaching responsibility. That is teaching independence. That is showing them how to live. They have no idea what goes on in the company, and mommy and daddy think they are going to be able to leave that company to their children. Within a month, hard working men and women who actually go out and break their backs will be out of a job because of an incompetent spoiled twit who was never taught anything, because they were coddled all of their lives and handed the proverbial Chevy and IPhone with no responsibility. Way to go mom and dad. You have just given your kids the power to ruin a lot of lives that didn’t deserve it. You must be so proud!
It comes down to the fact that we have to give our kids family values. And that doesn’t mean that every family has to have a mommy, a daddy, 3 kids, 2 dogs, a cat and a white picket fence. It means that we have to make sure that we are the best role model for our kids we can be. It means that if mom or dad are not in the picture, then we need to make sure there is a role model in our kids life they can look up to. I don’t care if it is a teacher, a coach, or a pastor of your church. It is our duty as parents to offer this to our children. If we don’t, we run the risk of failing our children. If we fail at that, then nothing else we accomplish matters. You cannot sit there and say, I am President of such and such company, and say you are a success, when little Johnny is out running the streets, failing in school, doing drugs, and has absolutely no respect for anyone. The most important job you will ever have is being a parent, and that is the one job you have that you can never get a do over with. You have one shot to raise each individual child.
You teach them, you trust them to do right from wrong, and you hope you have done all you can do to give them the tools to use to make it in this world. Now, does that mean if you give them the tools, and they choose not to use them, it is your fault? No. Once you give them the tools, they have to use them. If they don’t, and they are adults, then that is on them. Give them what they need to survive before you give them what they want. You only have about 18-20 years to instill all of this information in them. That information has to last for the rest of their lives.
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